Opinion | Could Virgil Write a Good College Essay?

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High-school seniors are furiously feathering final flourishes into their college application essays. Did the prior sentence contain a little alliteration? Yes, it did, but that was easy to spot. As surely as night follows day, the truly great college essays will draw more deeply from the well of literary devices.

“Thanks, professor,” says the stressed university applicant. “Alliteration, simile, and metaphor; tell me something I don’t already know.” I’m happy to, although I can do without (litotes) the sarcasm. You’ll appreciate a quick refresher on those arcane techniques you learned in ninth-grade English as the tick-tock of the application deadline draws onomatopoetically near.

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